Urban Pests

1. Miss P's "crabby sandwich napkin song". Purple napkin a prop, not part of the lyrics.
   
2. Two-year-old's interpretation of being dosed with Tylenol for croup-related malaise: "Mama gave me medicine to make me stop crying."
3. Dog D. chasing the beam emitted from Maglite we used for raccoon-hunting expedition; she has no interest whatsoever in raccoons: Moving lights are higher on the hierarchy of potential threat.
   
4. Parker assuring self, brother, and me (in that order) that "raccoons are deathly afraid of dogs." Renzo standing on the porch, poised to bolt inside, not believing his sister for one single minute nor the web's plentiful proof of procyon lotor's amusing, rascally, and mostly benevolent nature.
5. Wikipedia*: "The first [urban raccoon] sightings were recorded in a suburb of Cincinnati in the 1920's."

*A highly addictive virtual substance; often abused by seekers of pointless knowledge. Please note: Original link cunningly points to additional links, thus exponentially increasing probability of addiction.